I have been revising our thesis' study framework for almost a whole day and I knew I needed a break, a few minutes away from this house and breathe air. And so I decided to accompany my family and some of the youth from our church to the park as they play volleyball.
As my dad was getting bored just watching, he decided to drive to the nearest drug store and buy my medicine (which I always forget to do so and that meant I have not been taking any medicine for two days). Since I knew my dad gets easily distracted when alone, I offered to accompany him.
We happen to talk about one state university my sister tried to apply for. I told him I didn't like the school not because it doesn't provide quality education, but because of its environmental and social conditions. (No, I'm not being discriminatory and all. I just think most of the people I met from that school are quite wild and I definitely don't want my sister to get influenced by such attitudes. Anyway...) My dad said he too didn't want her to study there for the same reasons however, since my sister has not passed any college entrance exam except University of Asia and the Pacific's admission test (god. the tuition fee. how i wish...).
Of course, given the condition that UA&P is by far one of the most expensive universities in this country and the only chance Lisa would ever enter that school is if she gets a full scholarship, the dad is really getting worried.
Well, he could try to use his charms (for the third time) to get her in UST but then that's quite abusive already. I myself would want to leave some sort of dignity in this family (given that I transfered from UST to UP while my brother failed to pass the interview simply because he is a son of a pastor) since no one really pursued anything in UST.
My dad had been pressuring Lisa to at least show some interest with regard to her scholarship application (and by pressure, I mean PRESSURE). He even made some comments that if UA&P was able to grant her at least half scholarship, he would be willing to risk and struggle to pay her fees. (I need to give a little context here. The amount this half scholarship was 2/3 of the amount I was expected to pay in UST with half scholarship that is, and I ended up transfering not because I wanted to but because we couldn't afford it.) It was a big amount still.
Despite that, my dad expressed hopes that he could somehow take the risk such that he expects zero expenses for me since I am graduating by April and I already have a job waiting for me. Furthermore, in a just a short span of time, I might even help out in the household expenses.
He also started making other comments such as I should think about obtaining an Master's degree outside this country preferably in the U.S. so I could also get a bigger chance for immigration. (No, I honestly don't have intentions of migrating now that God tells me there is hope. Sure, I could think of obtaining a Master's degree abroad on one condition, anywhere but U.S.) He goes on saying that I should do this before I even think of getting married or getting a boyfriend since getting tied to another person would only stop me from achieving such.
Ok. So I don't have any plans after graduation. The most concrete ones would probably gain experience and teach in a university (UST to be exact) but I dread hearing what my dad wants for me. It doesn't have to do with deviance or whatever similar ideas. I just don't want to hear expectations, especially from my dad. It gets me pressured to do what they want despite what I want.
So my EDCO101 (Introduction to Guidance and Counseling) tells us we as children should never feel pressured to pay back through helping out in household expenses. Getting children through college is an obligation and never a privilege. We do it because we want to, not because we are to.
I've been thinking also of how lowing paying my expected job would be and if I really want Lisa to get in that college, I'm going to have to rethink it. (and god, I never really worry of how low paying this degree is but it's getting into me now)
So that's why it's usual for the eldest to stay single. And I guess my dad had too much dreams for me.
(See??? That's why I hate people telling me what they're expecting from me... sigh...)
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