A friend asked me recently, "What if I save some money to visit her and tell her how I feel?" I answered, "What's the point? She has a boyfriend and they have been together for quite some time now."
Call me a dream killer but allow me to defend myself on the argument. I do feel his need to express his feelings or he will forever have his "what ifs". But freedom of expression is not absolute, as my mass media law professor used to say. My friend had all the right to say what he feels, that I agree. But is this enough reason for him to actually do something? There is just a part of me that cannot find justice to the consequence his actions may be to the girl (who is a friend and a sister in faith), much more to her boyfriend.
Showing posts with label God's promise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's promise. Show all posts
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
asking God why
"Di ba sabi sayo ni God kayo? Bakit nangyari sayo 'to?"
(Didn't God tell you, you were going to be together? Why did this happen to you?)
I remember my best friend telling me that a few months ago. She, who recently declared that she no longer believes in religion or God, cares so much for me that I'm sure she did not state those words to offend God or my religion. It was an honest observation. Too honest in fact that I dreaded the day she will be saying this to my face.
But she did anyway. She had to. It was her being my friend. And this is also why I have always doubted telling her that the only reason I held on to him despite our complicated and seemingly unfair situation was that God wanted me to. She always had doubts with religion but she never questioned me for what I believed in.
(Didn't God tell you, you were going to be together? Why did this happen to you?)
I remember my best friend telling me that a few months ago. She, who recently declared that she no longer believes in religion or God, cares so much for me that I'm sure she did not state those words to offend God or my religion. It was an honest observation. Too honest in fact that I dreaded the day she will be saying this to my face.
But she did anyway. She had to. It was her being my friend. And this is also why I have always doubted telling her that the only reason I held on to him despite our complicated and seemingly unfair situation was that God wanted me to. She always had doubts with religion but she never questioned me for what I believed in.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Evan dances with God
My brother wanted to borrow my Lord of the Rings DVD a few days ago. As I was looking through my closet, I came across a long-forgotten movie I had enjoyed a few years ago.
Sequel to the 2003 film Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty is a comedy film released in 2007. Newly elected to the Congress, Evan Baxter (played by Steve Carell) on the eve of his first day in the job prayed that God will help him "change the world". He eventually found himself being tasked by God (played by Morgan Freeman) to build an ark as flood will come on Sept. 22. Mocked by others, Baxter eventually found himself saving animals and residents of his village from a flood when the dam broke because of its poor design and construction.
The script here is simply great. There were jokes that showed analogies from the Bible. Only a man with great understanding of Christ and the Bible could pull off such lines!
As I was watching the film again, I found myself teary-eyed towards the end of the movie. Everything turned out well for Evan. He may have looked stupid and weird but he still did it. As he was on a hiking trip with his family, God showed Himself to him:
Sequel to the 2003 film Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty is a comedy film released in 2007. Newly elected to the Congress, Evan Baxter (played by Steve Carell) on the eve of his first day in the job prayed that God will help him "change the world". He eventually found himself being tasked by God (played by Morgan Freeman) to build an ark as flood will come on Sept. 22. Mocked by others, Baxter eventually found himself saving animals and residents of his village from a flood when the dam broke because of its poor design and construction.
The script here is simply great. There were jokes that showed analogies from the Bible. Only a man with great understanding of Christ and the Bible could pull off such lines!
As I was watching the film again, I found myself teary-eyed towards the end of the movie. Everything turned out well for Evan. He may have looked stupid and weird but he still did it. As he was on a hiking trip with his family, God showed Himself to him:
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Rizal, God and my country
Rizal, the Philippines' National Hero, was born on June 19, 1861. He was highly recognized for being a reformist during the rule of the Spaniards in the 19th century. He, together with the Propaganda Movement whose members composed of Filipino expatriates in Europe, fought for the recognition of human rights in the Philippines and pushed for the legalization of Spanish and Filipino equality, among others.
Readings on Rizal also noted his notion of national identity similar to the anti-colonial sentiment. Filipinos are who they were before the Spaniards came in 1521. In his Annotations to Morga's Succesos de las Islas Filipinas, he documented Filipino native languages and the re-establishment of national identity based on trade, industry and craftsmanship.
But up until now, citizens of the Philippines ask themselves, who are we as a nation? Filipinos easily adapts to the changes in environment that it somehow compromises the idea of identity.
Friday, June 24, 2011
I believe
Just a few weeks ago, the Tony Awards for Best Musical for 2011 was awarded to The Book of Mormon, a religious satire which tells the tale of two Mormon missionaries bound to Uganda to share their scriptures.
During the Tony Awards, Andrew Rannells, who played the role of missionary Kevin Price, performed "I believe". In this song, Price reconfirms his mission, commits to God what he needs to achieve and confronts the General, a local warlord and talks him into converting to the religion.
While at one point, the musical somehow ridicules the religion, it also serves a perspective on faith and doubt that even non-Mormons could appreciate. "I believe" in itself already has a lot to offer.
Here's part of the lyrics that really touched me: (Access full lyrics here)
At a time when God asks you to just believe in Him and in His plans for you, this is somehow a good song to contemplate with.
During the Tony Awards, Andrew Rannells, who played the role of missionary Kevin Price, performed "I believe". In this song, Price reconfirms his mission, commits to God what he needs to achieve and confronts the General, a local warlord and talks him into converting to the religion.
While at one point, the musical somehow ridicules the religion, it also serves a perspective on faith and doubt that even non-Mormons could appreciate. "I believe" in itself already has a lot to offer.
Here's part of the lyrics that really touched me: (Access full lyrics here)
I must trust that my Lord is mightier
And always has my back.
Now I must be completely devout
I can't have even one shred of doubt...
You cannot just believe part way,
You have to believe in it all.
The problem is doubting the Lord's will
Instead of standing tall.
I believe that God has a plan for all of us.
I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet.
The Scriptures say that if you ask anything,
If you ask God Himself he'll know.
But you must ask Him without any doubt
And let your spirit grow...
At a time when God asks you to just believe in Him and in His plans for you, this is somehow a good song to contemplate with.
Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Monday, June 6, 2011
movie week
I've had a pretty good share of movies this week. Last Sunday, I saw Kung Fu Panda 2 with my family. I went to the movie house alone Monday to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and Friday for X-Men First Class. What was even more interesting was how God had talked to me in these two latest movies.
After watching On Stranger Tides, there was a storyline I could not get out of my head. The story of Philip, a missionary, and Syrena, a mermaid, really struck me.
Philip was introduced in the movie as a captive and kept alive from one of Blackbeard's raid in a remote island. Blackbeard's daughter, Angelica, tried her best to keep him alive as Philip always believed that there is redemption for everyone. Since Blackbeard has been prophesied to be killed in a few days, he has embarked in a journey to find the fountain of youth to evade his death.
In order for the fountain of youth to work, they must collect a tear from a mermaid and this is where Syrena comes in. As Blackbeard's crew were being attacked by mermaids, a mermaid seemingly tried to grab Philip's foot. As he fell down, he was somehow saved from the boulders that fell from an exploding light tower. A boulder fell onto this mermaid's fins and this led to her capture.
The mermaid was placed in a glass casket. Philip had tried to keep her alive as long as they can and Blackbeard usually gave in as he has a need of her. Note that he was the only one kind enough to treat her with dignity and even gave her the name Syrena.
"Such beauty. Surely you are one of God's own creations...and not a descendant of those dark creatures who found no refuge on the Ark. Such beauty and yet deadly."
"Deadly. No."
"You attacked me."
"No. You are different."
"Different?"
"Are you not? You protect."
When First Class opened last Thursday, I could not get it off my mind. I have been waiting for the movie to come out ever since James McAvoy was announced to play Charles Xavier. (And besides, I am a Marvel aficionado). When it was already showing, I know I just had to see it no matter what.
First Class focused much on the tagline "Mutant and proud" to describe the early life of Raven Darkholme and Hank McCoy (Mystique and Beast). Both, as everyone knows, have had the most difficult time accepting their being different as their mutation has affected their physical being.
Raven had the talent to imitate anybody she desires and this has given her the chance to fit in. With the help of her surrogate brother, Charles Xavier, she had her own taste of the society. But when Erik Lensherr (Magneto) became friends with Charles, Erik kept pointing out that she should be appreciated for who she is.
"If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing. Just pointing out something that could save your life."
Just a little background here. About two weeks ago, a Canadian lady joined in one of the teams that came to the Philippines. She mostly taught about inner beauty and how to appreciate yourself for who you are rather than looking at beauty through the world's eyes. While I'd have to admit that this has been a constant topic between me and God, it seemed like a very wide area of discussion which usually makes me feel like there is always something new to learn.
Since last year's turn of events, I've been having questions about myself and how I knew God had called me to be different. Different does not always mean being great. Sometimes, in fact more often, I can't seem to fit the standards of excellence the world has for everyone else. If I am different, how is it that even the man God chose me couldn't even see that beauty God has set upon me for being "different".
But I know God tells me not to fear for being "different" was never my insult. Rather, God is showing me that this will one of my strongest assets. The same way that Philip was thought to be different by the world (as a very religious man) and by the mermaid (as someone worthy to be loved), God is telling me to be proud of how He has called me for this will be seen by others. My service to God is what will make me worthy to be loved.
Philip was introduced in the movie as a captive and kept alive from one of Blackbeard's raid in a remote island. Blackbeard's daughter, Angelica, tried her best to keep him alive as Philip always believed that there is redemption for everyone. Since Blackbeard has been prophesied to be killed in a few days, he has embarked in a journey to find the fountain of youth to evade his death.
In order for the fountain of youth to work, they must collect a tear from a mermaid and this is where Syrena comes in. As Blackbeard's crew were being attacked by mermaids, a mermaid seemingly tried to grab Philip's foot. As he fell down, he was somehow saved from the boulders that fell from an exploding light tower. A boulder fell onto this mermaid's fins and this led to her capture.
The mermaid was placed in a glass casket. Philip had tried to keep her alive as long as they can and Blackbeard usually gave in as he has a need of her. Note that he was the only one kind enough to treat her with dignity and even gave her the name Syrena.
"Such beauty. Surely you are one of God's own creations...and not a descendant of those dark creatures who found no refuge on the Ark. Such beauty and yet deadly."
"Deadly. No."
"You attacked me."
"No. You are different."
"Different?"
"Are you not? You protect."
First Class focused much on the tagline "Mutant and proud" to describe the early life of Raven Darkholme and Hank McCoy (Mystique and Beast). Both, as everyone knows, have had the most difficult time accepting their being different as their mutation has affected their physical being.
Raven had the talent to imitate anybody she desires and this has given her the chance to fit in. With the help of her surrogate brother, Charles Xavier, she had her own taste of the society. But when Erik Lensherr (Magneto) became friends with Charles, Erik kept pointing out that she should be appreciated for who she is.
"If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing. Just pointing out something that could save your life."
Just a little background here. About two weeks ago, a Canadian lady joined in one of the teams that came to the Philippines. She mostly taught about inner beauty and how to appreciate yourself for who you are rather than looking at beauty through the world's eyes. While I'd have to admit that this has been a constant topic between me and God, it seemed like a very wide area of discussion which usually makes me feel like there is always something new to learn.
Since last year's turn of events, I've been having questions about myself and how I knew God had called me to be different. Different does not always mean being great. Sometimes, in fact more often, I can't seem to fit the standards of excellence the world has for everyone else. If I am different, how is it that even the man God chose me couldn't even see that beauty God has set upon me for being "different".
But I know God tells me not to fear for being "different" was never my insult. Rather, God is showing me that this will one of my strongest assets. The same way that Philip was thought to be different by the world (as a very religious man) and by the mermaid (as someone worthy to be loved), God is telling me to be proud of how He has called me for this will be seen by others. My service to God is what will make me worthy to be loved.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
earthquake & tsunami in Japan
On the afternoon of 11 March 2011, an earthquake with a scale of 9.0 magnitude shook the eastern coast of Oshika Peninsula, Japan. The earthquake a massive tsunami with waves as high as 20 feet and destroyed Sendai. Japan, highly noted for its disaster preparedness specifically on earthquakes, now suffers the lost of at least 4,000 individuals with an estimate of 7,000 still missing.
I was at the office watching CNN when all these were being tackled in the news. The network has shown footage of waters coming over Sendai as it happens. It felt like watching an end-of-the-world film and it gives us goosebumps knowing that this is not some fiction depicted visually. Somebody is really drowning out there.
God does not put us in trials that we cannot overcome, was my initial thought for Japan. May be not so quickly, but surely the Japanese can get through this. Being in a country that experience earthquake almost everyday, harsh as it may seem, surely they were the most prepared for this. And they will be able to stand up again.
This morning, I was reading James 5 for my devotions and God spoke about Japan. He specifically whispered to me His thoughts on this country through James 5:1-8.
1Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you! 2Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth-eaten. 3Your gold and silver are corroded, and their corrosion will be a witness against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have heaped up treasure in the last days. 4Indeed the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out; and the cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth. 5You have lived on the earth in pleasure and luxury; you have fattened your hearts as in a day of slaughter. 6You have condemned, you have murdered the just; he does not resist you.
7Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. 8You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.
Harsh as these verses may seem, God does not forget His people. He also shared His love to the Japanese by promising healing:
13Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. 14Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
If there is one thing that I, a Filipino, a citizen of a third-world nation without a relative working in Japan, can do for a country that was never attached to me, can do is to see to it that they are being prayed for, that they are reminded to humble themselves before God, and that they be healed. I'm sure some of them have when we were the ones in distress.
 |
| Asahi Shimbun/ Reuters as published in Time |
God does not put us in trials that we cannot overcome, was my initial thought for Japan. May be not so quickly, but surely the Japanese can get through this. Being in a country that experience earthquake almost everyday, harsh as it may seem, surely they were the most prepared for this. And they will be able to stand up again.
This morning, I was reading James 5 for my devotions and God spoke about Japan. He specifically whispered to me His thoughts on this country through James 5:1-8.
1Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you! 2Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth-eaten. 3Your gold and silver are corroded, and their corrosion will be a witness against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have heaped up treasure in the last days. 4Indeed the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out; and the cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth. 5You have lived on the earth in pleasure and luxury; you have fattened your hearts as in a day of slaughter. 6You have condemned, you have murdered the just; he does not resist you.
7Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. 8You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.
Harsh as these verses may seem, God does not forget His people. He also shared His love to the Japanese by promising healing:
13Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. 14Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
If there is one thing that I, a Filipino, a citizen of a third-world nation without a relative working in Japan, can do for a country that was never attached to me, can do is to see to it that they are being prayed for, that they are reminded to humble themselves before God, and that they be healed. I'm sure some of them have when we were the ones in distress.
Monday, February 21, 2011
redeemed
A lot has happened these past few weeks. I was so ready to take another step. Just when I thought I was going to meet her - and tell her we're okay - the meeting only became the anticipated that never was.
Then I asked God. Why didn't He let me have this closure with her?
He answered, You don't need to see her to finally say it's over.
And then He read to me Isaiah 43 which says:
1 But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“ Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I gave Egypt for your ransom,
Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
4 Since you were precious in My sight,
You have been honored,
And I have loved you;
Therefore I will give men for you,
And people for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your descendants from the east,
And gather you from the west;
6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
And to the south, ‘Do not keep them back!’
Bring My sons from afar,
And My daughters from the ends of the earth—
7 Everyone who is called by My name,
Whom I have created for My glory;
I have formed him, yes, I have made him.”
10 “ You are My witnesses,” says the LORD,
“ And My servant whom I have chosen,
That you may know and believe Me,
And understand that I am He.
Before Me there was no God formed,
Nor shall there be after Me.
11 I, even I, am the LORD,
And besides Me there is no savior.
12 I have declared and saved,
I have proclaimed,
And there was no foreign god among you;
Therefore you are My witnesses,”
Says the LORD, “that I am God.
13 Indeed before the day was, I am He;
And there is no one who can deliver out of My hand;
I work, and who will reverse it?”
18 “ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.
21 This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.
I was playing "Holy is the Lord" from my computer and then I suddenly felt to urge to dance. My hands were lifted up as I swirl across my room, a smile on my face.
He then reminded me of the scenario I wrote in my "wish list" post, to which I said to myself I will one day be dancing again with joy because He has set me free.
It's over, He told me. You have been redeemed.
Then I asked God. Why didn't He let me have this closure with her?
He answered, You don't need to see her to finally say it's over.
And then He read to me Isaiah 43 which says:
1 But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“ Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I gave Egypt for your ransom,
Ethiopia and Seba in your place.
4 Since you were precious in My sight,
You have been honored,
And I have loved you;
Therefore I will give men for you,
And people for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your descendants from the east,
And gather you from the west;
6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
And to the south, ‘Do not keep them back!’
Bring My sons from afar,
And My daughters from the ends of the earth—
7 Everyone who is called by My name,
Whom I have created for My glory;
I have formed him, yes, I have made him.”
10 “ You are My witnesses,” says the LORD,
“ And My servant whom I have chosen,
That you may know and believe Me,
And understand that I am He.
Before Me there was no God formed,
Nor shall there be after Me.
11 I, even I, am the LORD,
And besides Me there is no savior.
12 I have declared and saved,
I have proclaimed,
And there was no foreign god among you;
Therefore you are My witnesses,”
Says the LORD, “that I am God.
13 Indeed before the day was, I am He;
And there is no one who can deliver out of My hand;
I work, and who will reverse it?”
18 “ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.
21 This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.
I was playing "Holy is the Lord" from my computer and then I suddenly felt to urge to dance. My hands were lifted up as I swirl across my room, a smile on my face.
He then reminded me of the scenario I wrote in my "wish list" post, to which I said to myself I will one day be dancing again with joy because He has set me free.
It's over, He told me. You have been redeemed.
Monday, January 3, 2011
for 2011
I was listening to an online Christian radio station, K-Love. Their question for the day was:
What is your one word for 2011?
It may signify a vision, a goal or a resolution.
My word for 2011? Revival.
With all that I have been through last year, I am hoping and claiming one of the best years ever; a year filled with God’s presence and power in my life; a year that God exists in my life beyond reasonable doubt; a year filled with so much more than this life I have at the moment.
My verse to claim for this year? Psalm 118:15-24
15 The voice of rejoicing and salvation
Is in the tents of the righteous;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
16 The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
17 I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
19 Open to me the gates of righteousness;
I will go through them,
And I will praise the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD,
Through which the righteous shall enter.
21 I will praise You,
For You have answered me,
And have become my salvation.
22 The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.
23 This was the LORD’s doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.
This is God’s promise to me for the year. This is going to be my blessing. I am just so excited to experience how God will make things better for me.
What is your one word for 2011?
It may signify a vision, a goal or a resolution.
My word for 2011? Revival.
With all that I have been through last year, I am hoping and claiming one of the best years ever; a year filled with God’s presence and power in my life; a year that God exists in my life beyond reasonable doubt; a year filled with so much more than this life I have at the moment.
My verse to claim for this year? Psalm 118:15-24
15 The voice of rejoicing and salvation
Is in the tents of the righteous;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
16 The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
17 I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
19 Open to me the gates of righteousness;
I will go through them,
And I will praise the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD,
Through which the righteous shall enter.
21 I will praise You,
For You have answered me,
And have become my salvation.
22 The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.
23 This was the LORD’s doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.
This is God’s promise to me for the year. This is going to be my blessing. I am just so excited to experience how God will make things better for me.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
On your wedding day
My prayers are with you on your wedding day.
Actually, they have always been with you. When you went out to war, I cried daily for your safety. I almost hurt myself beating the floor in prayer when you first declared that God was worthy of your praise. When your spirit died, I prayed for your revival, without really thinking of the possibility that you may never be with me.
But this is love and obedience. When I decided to trust God’s promise that we were going to be together, I was actually hoping that God would be faithful as much as I would be. I really thought that through my prayers, I would be able to pull you out of that dungeon and aid you in breaking away from those chains of doubt. I guess, in your eyes, I was not good enough to help you out.
So this is how it feels like, wanting to spend every waking moment asleep as every minute awake reminds me of the reality that you did not choose me. And no prayer, no blood, or sacrifice could ever change that.
But I don’t regret ever saying a prayer for you. In fact, I pray for happiness more than you deserve. I pray that God will open your eyes so that you will be able to see that God has always been with you and His angels have kept you safe every time you are deployed.
I pray that you realize your worth in life. You do not need to do so many things to prove your value. Your parents have always been proud of you. You do not need to be as intelligent as your eldest brother, as creative as your sister, and as charming as your other brother. You are valued for the man that you are.
The impulsive decision-maker that you are, I pray that you do not regret this decision with her. Whenever you feel like complaining, whenever you feel like she does not understand, whenever you would doubt if ever you really made the right decision, keep in mind that there are two people in this world who sacrificed their future for you to be together.
I pray for unending happiness with her, with God’s eyes and favor upon you both.
One day I will be able to face you again, hopefully with a complete understanding of what has happened. On that day, hopefully, I have been flying free. I would be able to smile at you like when we were little and adore your children the same way I had loved the kids around me.
For now, allow me to rest my heart. It has been wounded too much for too long I do not even think it throbs. But I will be all right. God has always made me feel better. You know, I am a lot stronger than I seem.
Until then, my prayers are with you, as it had been when I started praying for you nine years ago.
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