i needed to hear that

I’m not sure if people had ever noticed the extent of damage the Wednesday morning incident had brought upon me but one thing is for sure, I was at the point of giving up my affiliation not because I do not believe in the principles but because of the attitudes of the people within that group.

Thursday afternoon. I was with Jam and Weng drinking coffee at Starbucks. An old activist friend texted me, hoping if we could get together and have a talk. We settled to meet at 12:30 in the afternoon.

What should be a 12:30 pm meeting became a 4:30 pm gathering. If we had not met at the lobby by chance, the talk would have come a bit later.

He asked how I was, how my thesis had been going, how the council had been doing and all those other concerns in life. I asked him how his academics and relationships were. It was basically a small chit-chat.

Afterwards, he asked me how I was after that Wednesday morning incident. Not that I was pretty shocked that he knew about this, but I didn’t really want him involved, being the good friends that we were.

I told him what happened in detailed; how the ‘conversation’ went, what my responses were, how I told my dad about this incident and what his reactions were, what these people answered when I told them my decision and how they treated me badly afterwards.

He apologized for not being there amidst all these. He explained how wrong they had been about me. If he had the same plans for me with regard to the movement, he would have told me himself but he chose not to because he knew what kind of person I was and he respects that. In his words, it was stupid to ever refer my relationship with my father as feudal, as if they got no parents they care about, as if they knew not to respect others. They had been reprimanded for doing such.

He told me things had changed after I told them my decision, that they had truly treated me badly. He apologized for the turn out.

He apologized that I was told not to tell my parents about the incident. It was so wrong not to take what my parents would have thought about this.

He apologized for having referred a very good friend of mine to having problems in terms of ideology. In his point of view, how dare they judge her to the extent of accusing her with such. It was so wrong to say such things. Moreover, it was wrong to tell me that, someone who had been brought to the movement by her.

He expressed his hope that everything would end at that moment, as if nothing had happened. He assured me that the incident would not be spreading to other people. He also wished that we would all act as if nothing has happened.

I told him how pressured and disappointed I had been with them. Although I appreciate the apology, I cannot assure that I can act as if nothing has happened. Maybe in time, I will but this cannot be expected of me in the next few days.

I actually felt better hearing this. I know for myself I do not need to hear that I was right and they were wrong. I just wanted to be recognized of my viewpoints, and be treated with respect for that even if they disagree.

Maybe the misadventure had some good effect after all. So what if this was a sort of damage control? I was thankful enough that God had made me feel better now more than ever.