Changes have been taking place. Bikoy could only laugh at our stories now but I know for myself, he shouldn't be just laughing. He's supposed to be there.
He doesn't talk much now (well, he's always been like that) but this time, I see clearly that it is mine to lead. Everybody expects me to speak out and they will listen. I am the leader now.
But I can't be. I don't want to be. Bikoy is still there and in my heart he will forever be our chairperson, that person I stand behind to.
He says he's going for another step up the ladder, to the STAND UP university wide chapter, and he might even be an officer for the group. In all honesty, I don't want him to be. Selfish? Not really. I just want him to stay standing in front of me in this fight because I can't do it alone. People can't draw their strength in principle from me. I won't be able to survive.
But then, neither can I stop him from doing what he thinks he should be doing.
I guess I have to learn to be alone (again) and this battle will be mine alone to lead.
Can I really do it?
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