I really don't like to be discriminatory and all but seriously, I think I have problems talking to homosexual men in position. I easily get so intimidated. I guess it must be the mood or something, or the tactlessness but whatever. I'm just so intimidated.
Weng and I went to this university to follow up on the letter we faxed two weeks ago. We have been askin for an interview with the Journalism department chairs to clarify the facts given by the ethics professor as well as get a perspective from the school with regard to the subject.
We've been trying to call for a whole week and the direct line has always been busy. And so we decided to pay a visit.
Apparently, he doesn't like to be disturbed that easily. And he thinks that he is not the person to ask since it is not him who choses which professor will teach ethics in the department. Of course I'd have to admit I never really specified the subject to be Press Ethics however it seem that he dreads giving us the interview.
We also tried to clarify a few comments he made, like he doesn't have a say on who is to teach the subject even if it were under his department, by reiterating it and somehow he took it badly to the point that he directly asked us if we are questioning their protocol.
Anyway, with patience we were able to convince him to give us the interview on Thursday.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
(a few more) expectations from the eldest
I have been revising our thesis' study framework for almost a whole day and I knew I needed a break, a few minutes away from this house and breathe air. And so I decided to accompany my family and some of the youth from our church to the park as they play volleyball.
As my dad was getting bored just watching, he decided to drive to the nearest drug store and buy my medicine (which I always forget to do so and that meant I have not been taking any medicine for two days). Since I knew my dad gets easily distracted when alone, I offered to accompany him.
We happen to talk about one state university my sister tried to apply for. I told him I didn't like the school not because it doesn't provide quality education, but because of its environmental and social conditions. (No, I'm not being discriminatory and all. I just think most of the people I met from that school are quite wild and I definitely don't want my sister to get influenced by such attitudes. Anyway...) My dad said he too didn't want her to study there for the same reasons however, since my sister has not passed any college entrance exam except University of Asia and the Pacific's admission test (god. the tuition fee. how i wish...).
Of course, given the condition that UA&P is by far one of the most expensive universities in this country and the only chance Lisa would ever enter that school is if she gets a full scholarship, the dad is really getting worried.
Well, he could try to use his charms (for the third time) to get her in UST but then that's quite abusive already. I myself would want to leave some sort of dignity in this family (given that I transfered from UST to UP while my brother failed to pass the interview simply because he is a son of a pastor) since no one really pursued anything in UST.
My dad had been pressuring Lisa to at least show some interest with regard to her scholarship application (and by pressure, I mean PRESSURE). He even made some comments that if UA&P was able to grant her at least half scholarship, he would be willing to risk and struggle to pay her fees. (I need to give a little context here. The amount this half scholarship was 2/3 of the amount I was expected to pay in UST with half scholarship that is, and I ended up transfering not because I wanted to but because we couldn't afford it.) It was a big amount still.
Despite that, my dad expressed hopes that he could somehow take the risk such that he expects zero expenses for me since I am graduating by April and I already have a job waiting for me. Furthermore, in a just a short span of time, I might even help out in the household expenses.
He also started making other comments such as I should think about obtaining an Master's degree outside this country preferably in the U.S. so I could also get a bigger chance for immigration. (No, I honestly don't have intentions of migrating now that God tells me there is hope. Sure, I could think of obtaining a Master's degree abroad on one condition, anywhere but U.S.) He goes on saying that I should do this before I even think of getting married or getting a boyfriend since getting tied to another person would only stop me from achieving such.
Ok. So I don't have any plans after graduation. The most concrete ones would probably gain experience and teach in a university (UST to be exact) but I dread hearing what my dad wants for me. It doesn't have to do with deviance or whatever similar ideas. I just don't want to hear expectations, especially from my dad. It gets me pressured to do what they want despite what I want.
So my EDCO101 (Introduction to Guidance and Counseling) tells us we as children should never feel pressured to pay back through helping out in household expenses. Getting children through college is an obligation and never a privilege. We do it because we want to, not because we are to.
I've been thinking also of how lowing paying my expected job would be and if I really want Lisa to get in that college, I'm going to have to rethink it. (and god, I never really worry of how low paying this degree is but it's getting into me now)
So that's why it's usual for the eldest to stay single. And I guess my dad had too much dreams for me.
(See??? That's why I hate people telling me what they're expecting from me... sigh...)
As my dad was getting bored just watching, he decided to drive to the nearest drug store and buy my medicine (which I always forget to do so and that meant I have not been taking any medicine for two days). Since I knew my dad gets easily distracted when alone, I offered to accompany him.
We happen to talk about one state university my sister tried to apply for. I told him I didn't like the school not because it doesn't provide quality education, but because of its environmental and social conditions. (No, I'm not being discriminatory and all. I just think most of the people I met from that school are quite wild and I definitely don't want my sister to get influenced by such attitudes. Anyway...) My dad said he too didn't want her to study there for the same reasons however, since my sister has not passed any college entrance exam except University of Asia and the Pacific's admission test (god. the tuition fee. how i wish...).
Of course, given the condition that UA&P is by far one of the most expensive universities in this country and the only chance Lisa would ever enter that school is if she gets a full scholarship, the dad is really getting worried.
Well, he could try to use his charms (for the third time) to get her in UST but then that's quite abusive already. I myself would want to leave some sort of dignity in this family (given that I transfered from UST to UP while my brother failed to pass the interview simply because he is a son of a pastor) since no one really pursued anything in UST.
My dad had been pressuring Lisa to at least show some interest with regard to her scholarship application (and by pressure, I mean PRESSURE). He even made some comments that if UA&P was able to grant her at least half scholarship, he would be willing to risk and struggle to pay her fees. (I need to give a little context here. The amount this half scholarship was 2/3 of the amount I was expected to pay in UST with half scholarship that is, and I ended up transfering not because I wanted to but because we couldn't afford it.) It was a big amount still.
Despite that, my dad expressed hopes that he could somehow take the risk such that he expects zero expenses for me since I am graduating by April and I already have a job waiting for me. Furthermore, in a just a short span of time, I might even help out in the household expenses.
He also started making other comments such as I should think about obtaining an Master's degree outside this country preferably in the U.S. so I could also get a bigger chance for immigration. (No, I honestly don't have intentions of migrating now that God tells me there is hope. Sure, I could think of obtaining a Master's degree abroad on one condition, anywhere but U.S.) He goes on saying that I should do this before I even think of getting married or getting a boyfriend since getting tied to another person would only stop me from achieving such.
Ok. So I don't have any plans after graduation. The most concrete ones would probably gain experience and teach in a university (UST to be exact) but I dread hearing what my dad wants for me. It doesn't have to do with deviance or whatever similar ideas. I just don't want to hear expectations, especially from my dad. It gets me pressured to do what they want despite what I want.
So my EDCO101 (Introduction to Guidance and Counseling) tells us we as children should never feel pressured to pay back through helping out in household expenses. Getting children through college is an obligation and never a privilege. We do it because we want to, not because we are to.
I've been thinking also of how lowing paying my expected job would be and if I really want Lisa to get in that college, I'm going to have to rethink it. (and god, I never really worry of how low paying this degree is but it's getting into me now)
So that's why it's usual for the eldest to stay single. And I guess my dad had too much dreams for me.
(See??? That's why I hate people telling me what they're expecting from me... sigh...)
Friday, February 8, 2008
edco 101 assignment: affirmation scripts
This afternoon, we somehow came into the subject of committing suicide in my EDCO101 class, Introduction to Guidance and Counseling. The professor asked us to think of reasons why anyone would ever think of putting his life to an end and just as anyone would expect, ideas like depression and loneliness came about.
From here, the professor asked us to collect at least 25 affirmation scripts we've received during our lives. These scripts include thoughts of appreciation said or written for us, as well as testimonials from Friendster or whatever write-up that was written about us. We are to compile it and present it in our most creative and relevant to our interests. Although this assignment doesn't seem to make sense, it would actually help us when we feel down and think nobody appreciates us.
Procratinating (again) from my thesis, I decided to check out my almost inactive Friendster account and probably find something, aside from those I can remember like the ones from Christian, JM and May.
Anyway, I was going through my testimonials and then I realized how much effort my blockmates (my UST blockmates that is, since I never really got in any block in UP) would write about me and try to catch up with me when I transfered school.
Aji wrote about how I could easily get worried. May wrote about how accident prone I could be as she was able to witness much of the accidents I had been in (getting bumped by a car, asthma attacks just because someone played with pepper spray inside an airconditioned room, the bruises I easily get and my baking burns). Issai wrote about my "last row syndrome" where I was first termed to experience ADHD attacks because of simple boredom. Ainj wrote about how appreciate he felt when I laughed at his jokes. Even those who I was not really that close showed some signs of concern and miss to the point I never felt so appreciated in my life. (*tear drop. hahaha)
I guess my professor is right. With people like them to remind me of the beauty of life, how could I ever think of suicide!
From here, the professor asked us to collect at least 25 affirmation scripts we've received during our lives. These scripts include thoughts of appreciation said or written for us, as well as testimonials from Friendster or whatever write-up that was written about us. We are to compile it and present it in our most creative and relevant to our interests. Although this assignment doesn't seem to make sense, it would actually help us when we feel down and think nobody appreciates us.
Procratinating (again) from my thesis, I decided to check out my almost inactive Friendster account and probably find something, aside from those I can remember like the ones from Christian, JM and May.
Anyway, I was going through my testimonials and then I realized how much effort my blockmates (my UST blockmates that is, since I never really got in any block in UP) would write about me and try to catch up with me when I transfered school.
Aji wrote about how I could easily get worried. May wrote about how accident prone I could be as she was able to witness much of the accidents I had been in (getting bumped by a car, asthma attacks just because someone played with pepper spray inside an airconditioned room, the bruises I easily get and my baking burns). Issai wrote about my "last row syndrome" where I was first termed to experience ADHD attacks because of simple boredom. Ainj wrote about how appreciate he felt when I laughed at his jokes. Even those who I was not really that close showed some signs of concern and miss to the point I never felt so appreciated in my life. (*tear drop. hahaha)
I guess my professor is right. With people like them to remind me of the beauty of life, how could I ever think of suicide!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
at long last
I was assinged to convene the student council's general assembly for today. Apparently, much of the meeting's agenda has something to do with coming student council elections which only meant I had to face the many questions the juniors had in mind.
You may have not imagine this, but I was actually the only senior and second termer (if there is such a word) present during the meeting. And so I had to discuss the rules of the incumbent as well. And everybody seemed to ask so many questions.
Anyway...
As it appears, the binding factor between me and all those people behind that Wednesday incident was actually the elections. Even if I somehow grew away from them, a part of me still wants to extend my hand to help them in the best and yet subtlest way I can. And I actually quite miss them.
This was also the first time I had a long conversation with the girl I quarelled with for losing my digital recorder. From my perspective, I think we both got over it and was ready to move on.
At the same time, I was able to kid around that feudalistic relationship thing around them. Although I haven't really told them the effect these words had on me, at least now I can safely say I had let go of my anger and bitterness towards them and am ready to take a new responsibility and work with them.
You may have not imagine this, but I was actually the only senior and second termer (if there is such a word) present during the meeting. And so I had to discuss the rules of the incumbent as well. And everybody seemed to ask so many questions.
Anyway...
As it appears, the binding factor between me and all those people behind that Wednesday incident was actually the elections. Even if I somehow grew away from them, a part of me still wants to extend my hand to help them in the best and yet subtlest way I can. And I actually quite miss them.
This was also the first time I had a long conversation with the girl I quarelled with for losing my digital recorder. From my perspective, I think we both got over it and was ready to move on.
At the same time, I was able to kid around that feudalistic relationship thing around them. Although I haven't really told them the effect these words had on me, at least now I can safely say I had let go of my anger and bitterness towards them and am ready to take a new responsibility and work with them.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
officially sick
My doctor told me the biopsy results were ready and so I visited her Friday afternoon.
As it turns out, the lump is nothing but a benign cyst, which is good, However, I still have to be in medication for the next two months so make sure the cyst doesn't come back.
Or should I say it already did. I felt another lump on the same spot Wednesday evening although I really couldn't do anything since I was in Dagupan City. When I got back and visited Dr. Rosario Cruz-Durian (free endorsement here again. I simply love her, even if I don't like doctors), she once more struck a syringe right through the cyst for the second time. And since it didn't have as much content (spec. blood) this time, she had to make sure she had all of its content which meant the needle had stuck in my neck longer than before.
The bad news here is that this needle therapy thing (I forgot what it's called) can only be done for three times. After that would be either lots of medicine or surgery (please...).
Anyway, it still doesn't feel different, unless I feel cold (which by the way, I usually does. I'm a tropical person you know) or I haven't had water for a few hours. That really hurts, as if someone was trying to choke and kill me by suffocation. So now, I always bring some drink and my shawl/ jacket with me. Aside from that, I'm good, or at least I think I am.
As it turns out, the lump is nothing but a benign cyst, which is good, However, I still have to be in medication for the next two months so make sure the cyst doesn't come back.
Or should I say it already did. I felt another lump on the same spot Wednesday evening although I really couldn't do anything since I was in Dagupan City. When I got back and visited Dr. Rosario Cruz-Durian (free endorsement here again. I simply love her, even if I don't like doctors), she once more struck a syringe right through the cyst for the second time. And since it didn't have as much content (spec. blood) this time, she had to make sure she had all of its content which meant the needle had stuck in my neck longer than before.
The bad news here is that this needle therapy thing (I forgot what it's called) can only be done for three times. After that would be either lots of medicine or surgery (please...).
Anyway, it still doesn't feel different, unless I feel cold (which by the way, I usually does. I'm a tropical person you know) or I haven't had water for a few hours. That really hurts, as if someone was trying to choke and kill me by suffocation. So now, I always bring some drink and my shawl/ jacket with me. Aside from that, I'm good, or at least I think I am.
Friday, February 1, 2008
trip to dagupan: the provincial life
Weng and I had an unexpected trip to Dagupan City, Pangasinan this week. We called University of Luzon (UL) this Monday hoping to give us a sort of direction on what to do to get the documents and interviews we needed. Apparently, they will be celebrating their foundation week in two weeks, which meant that we will no longer be accomodated if we come later this week.
And so, we decided to take the last bus trip to Dagupan Wednesday night. And since my family are actually travelers, I trust only Victory Liner (free endorsement here). We left around nine in the evening and arrived at around one in the morning. Weng's mom, Tita Gigi, had been making phone calls the whole morning for a place to stay. Good thing Rocel had recommended YMCA hostel. It's probably a two minute walk from UL and a trike drive from the bus terminal. At the same time, for a place like that, the rates are actually very cheap.
Anyway, we were able to interview their ethics professor, and by ethics I mean General Ethics. Apparently, they don't offer Journalism Ethics at all. Even if they were able to get a copy of the Commission on Higher Education (CHEd) Memorandum no. 44 of 1997 which states the required subjects for degrees under Arts, Humanities, and Communication specifically including Press Law and Ethics for Journalism, UL didn't seem to have thought to offer it. If it wasn't for the graduates who suggested the subject, they wouldn't have thought about it in the first place.
You see, UL offers BS in Journalism, having bombarded the students with a lot of Math and Science subjects (e.g. college algebra, plane trigonometry, zoology, biology, ecology, physical science). Much of what were required Journalism subjects in UP were simply electives in UL (e.g. Research in Journalism, Internship). And to think, the school has been offering Journalism since the 1970's, however, they only got 8 students, 5 juniors, 1 sophomore and 2 freshmen.
Anyway, it's actually weird to spend the morning the office of the Dean of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, browsing through all their files in the attempt to look for the Ethics syllabus. For some reason, nobody, and I mean not one office has a copy of that syllabus, even the professor. We were already going to attempt to put the contents of the syllabus into the interview but since the professor has classes, he promised us to email a copy of the syllabus.
But then, even if we have been looking into ever computer file and book bound compilation of syllabus, the staff as well as the professors have been very kind to us to the point that they would even make us taste the famous food of Dagupan, including the tamarind. They also taught us how to get to the market and how to choose an authetic Dagupan milkfish.
By late in the afternoon, we decided to visit the market and have a taste of that milkfish. We bought a cooked one, as well as rice cakes and sea weeds (for salad) and headed back to YMCA hostel. By nine in the evening, we headed for the bus terminal for the ten o'clock trip back to Manila. We arrived in Cubao at around two in the morning.
And so, we decided to take the last bus trip to Dagupan Wednesday night. And since my family are actually travelers, I trust only Victory Liner (free endorsement here). We left around nine in the evening and arrived at around one in the morning. Weng's mom, Tita Gigi, had been making phone calls the whole morning for a place to stay. Good thing Rocel had recommended YMCA hostel. It's probably a two minute walk from UL and a trike drive from the bus terminal. At the same time, for a place like that, the rates are actually very cheap.
Anyway, we were able to interview their ethics professor, and by ethics I mean General Ethics. Apparently, they don't offer Journalism Ethics at all. Even if they were able to get a copy of the Commission on Higher Education (CHEd) Memorandum no. 44 of 1997 which states the required subjects for degrees under Arts, Humanities, and Communication specifically including Press Law and Ethics for Journalism, UL didn't seem to have thought to offer it. If it wasn't for the graduates who suggested the subject, they wouldn't have thought about it in the first place.
You see, UL offers BS in Journalism, having bombarded the students with a lot of Math and Science subjects (e.g. college algebra, plane trigonometry, zoology, biology, ecology, physical science). Much of what were required Journalism subjects in UP were simply electives in UL (e.g. Research in Journalism, Internship). And to think, the school has been offering Journalism since the 1970's, however, they only got 8 students, 5 juniors, 1 sophomore and 2 freshmen.
Anyway, it's actually weird to spend the morning the office of the Dean of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, browsing through all their files in the attempt to look for the Ethics syllabus. For some reason, nobody, and I mean not one office has a copy of that syllabus, even the professor. We were already going to attempt to put the contents of the syllabus into the interview but since the professor has classes, he promised us to email a copy of the syllabus.
But then, even if we have been looking into ever computer file and book bound compilation of syllabus, the staff as well as the professors have been very kind to us to the point that they would even make us taste the famous food of Dagupan, including the tamarind. They also taught us how to get to the market and how to choose an authetic Dagupan milkfish.
By late in the afternoon, we decided to visit the market and have a taste of that milkfish. We bought a cooked one, as well as rice cakes and sea weeds (for salad) and headed back to YMCA hostel. By nine in the evening, we headed for the bus terminal for the ten o'clock trip back to Manila. We arrived in Cubao at around two in the morning.
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