I received a text message from the spokesperson this morning. Although I have been out of the beat for about a month now, I have not really told him that I had resigned. I guess I'm just a coward to even say goodbye.
It really doesn't matter if I got subtly kicked out of my job. It was probably more of a feeling of failing him despite the efforts he had put up to help me get a story published. If I were given the choice, I would want to go back to the foreign affairs beat. And if I keep telling myself that I will eventually be able to do so, I don't really have to say goodbye. Then again, who knows when I'll be coming back, or if I am coming back at all.
For the first time after so long, I wrote a message telling him I resigned recently and that I'm very thankful for every bit of help he has given me. At first, he was very formal of his responses, instructing me what to do to get me out of the list of accredited reporters. I commented on this instruction and said my thanks and holiday greetings again. He then greeted me a merry christmas.
I was in line waiting for a manicurist at the parlor when the exchange of messages took place. I really felt I wanted to cry. I've finally let go.
