My prayers are with you on your wedding day.
Actually, they have always been with you. When you went out to war, I cried daily for your safety. I almost hurt myself beating the floor in prayer when you first declared that God was worthy of your praise. When your spirit died, I prayed for your revival, without really thinking of the possibility that you may never be with me.
But this is love and obedience. When I decided to trust God’s promise that we were going to be together, I was actually hoping that God would be faithful as much as I would be. I really thought that through my prayers, I would be able to pull you out of that dungeon and aid you in breaking away from those chains of doubt. I guess, in your eyes, I was not good enough to help you out.
So this is how it feels like, wanting to spend every waking moment asleep as every minute awake reminds me of the reality that you did not choose me. And no prayer, no blood, or sacrifice could ever change that.
But I don’t regret ever saying a prayer for you. In fact, I pray for happiness more than you deserve. I pray that God will open your eyes so that you will be able to see that God has always been with you and His angels have kept you safe every time you are deployed.
I pray that you realize your worth in life. You do not need to do so many things to prove your value. Your parents have always been proud of you. You do not need to be as intelligent as your eldest brother, as creative as your sister, and as charming as your other brother. You are valued for the man that you are.
The impulsive decision-maker that you are, I pray that you do not regret this decision with her. Whenever you feel like complaining, whenever you feel like she does not understand, whenever you would doubt if ever you really made the right decision, keep in mind that there are two people in this world who sacrificed their future for you to be together.
I pray for unending happiness with her, with God’s eyes and favor upon you both.
One day I will be able to face you again, hopefully with a complete understanding of what has happened. On that day, hopefully, I have been flying free. I would be able to smile at you like when we were little and adore your children the same way I had loved the kids around me.
For now, allow me to rest my heart. It has been wounded too much for too long I do not even think it throbs. But I will be all right. God has always made me feel better. You know, I am a lot stronger than I seem.
Until then, my prayers are with you, as it had been when I started praying for you nine years ago.
