Christmas party for the kids 2010

On your wedding day

My prayers are with you on your wedding day.

Actually, they have always been with you. When you went out to war, I cried daily for your safety. I almost hurt myself beating the floor in prayer when you first declared that God was worthy of your praise. When your spirit died, I prayed for your revival, without really thinking of the possibility that you may never be with me.

But this is love and obedience. When I decided to trust God’s promise that we were going to be together, I was actually hoping that God would be faithful as much as I would be. I really thought that through my prayers, I would be able to pull you out of that dungeon and aid you in breaking away from those chains of doubt. I guess, in your eyes, I was not good enough to help you out.

So this is how it feels like, wanting to spend every waking moment asleep as every minute awake reminds me of the reality that you did not choose me. And no prayer, no blood, or sacrifice could ever change that.

But I don’t regret ever saying a prayer for you. In fact, I pray for happiness more than you deserve. I pray that God will open your eyes so that you will be able to see that God has always been with you and His angels have kept you safe every time you are deployed.

I pray that you realize your worth in life. You do not need to do so many things to prove your value. Your parents have always been proud of you. You do not need to be as intelligent as your eldest brother, as creative as your sister, and as charming as your other brother. You are valued for the man that you are.

The impulsive decision-maker that you are, I pray that you do not regret this decision with her. Whenever you feel like complaining, whenever you feel like she does not understand, whenever you would doubt if ever you really made the right decision, keep in mind that there are two people in this world who sacrificed their future for you to be together.

I pray for unending happiness with her, with God’s eyes and favor upon you both.

One day I will be able to face you again, hopefully with a complete understanding of what has happened. On that day, hopefully, I have been flying free. I would be able to smile at you like when we were little and adore your children the same way I had loved the kids around me.

For now, allow me to rest my heart. It has been wounded too much for too long I do not even think it throbs. But I will be all right. God has always made me feel better. You know, I am a lot stronger than I seem.

Until then, my prayers are with you, as it had been when I started praying for you nine years ago.

Bohol plunge

My friends and I visited Bohol for a vacation. They came a day earlier which was all right since I already had a tour in Bohol as a side track from work. For my first day (and their second day), we visited an adventure camp in Danao, four hours away from the provincial capital Tagbilaran City.

So far, one of the craziest thing I ever did. An easier version of bungee jump, the plunge is a swing adventure feature in E.A.T. Danao mounted over a 200 meter high and 300 meter wide gorge.

Oh, and did I mention? I am acrophobic.But yeah, it was fun.

An inspiring painter

Local news reported inspirational Filipino painter Joey Velasco passed away on July 20. He died of kidney cancer complications yesterday afternoon.

I had the privilege to interview the great artist last year for a personality profile to be published in the magazine I was then working with. He warmly invited us to his meticulously designed home. As we entered his house, much of his paintings were leaned against every wall as they were freshly taken out of the package from an exhibit in Cebu.

He truly had an amazing story to tell, much of which were already featured in the news (e.g. Probe Profiles). He was not born an artist nor did he never had formal training in painting. He described this talent as a sudden God-given gift that had saved him and could save others by sharing through visuals of the Lord’s love.

I asked him if anyone had offered to buy his paintings. He told us of a time a great patron wanted to buy his most famous painting Hapag ng Pag-asa. He was at the point of selling his painting when his grade school son left a note for him. I had the privilege to read his son’s letter which he took out from his pocket aloud for the group.

His son, only seven then, begged his dad not to sell the painting to anyone as he will work hard to earn a great deal of money to be able to buy painting. I remember myself in tears as I handed the letter back to Joey.

Early this year, he gave me a call. It was even embarrassing that I forgot who he was at that moment of the call and he had to remind me that he was “the painter”. We talked a few about the article on him and he then asked me of my work in the magazine. When I mentioned that I had already left that job, he immediately mentioned that he intended to ask that I write for him a few essays on his paintings. He wanted to provide an artist perspective of his paintings through words.

I’ve always wanted to get back to him on that as he said there will be another time for that. Obviously, there will not be another time but his offer then inspired me to try art reviews as well.

I will be posting a few essays on some of his paintings that touched me as a tribute to the painter that has inspired me to write.

Goodbye

So much has happened. So many things have to be kept hidden. Then again, God's sense of humor will reveal all that we try to deny.

I have been waiting that the story would come from you, but I guess you have no intention to tell me. Make me a fool, make me believe that nothing has changed and nothing will. Keep on denying but I would rather live my life better than this.

You said you were going. I'm glad you are. It will give me the chance I have been waiting for quite some time now.

I've been wanting to go. I'm fed up waiting for your story. I'm so tired of you.

When you come back, I won't be there to greet you. So take care of yourself and make the right decisions. Better yet, ask someone for advice because you don't know how to decide. You are selfish and short-minded, you don't know what your actions can lead to, the same way you did not know how you almost made me stumble.

But I will stand up from waiting for you practically half of my life. And now, I desire to meet someone else now, someone who will save me from this lonely life and miseries.

I hope you will be a better person after two years. I hope you do well. And I promise you, I will.

Goodbye.

too much

"I seriously don't enjoy spending a whole day at the office with our boss. There's just too much pressure, too much stress," my office-mate exclaimed as we got out of the little green gate and walked towards the main street late in the afternoon.

Welcome to my world

It's quite often that I find myself alone, with my boss. And pressure is an understatement to the ambiance he develops whenever he's there. With a day-at-a-time strategy to keep the business going, our boss has a tendency to make me do things that just suddenly popped out of his head. This, of course, sidetracks to the real work I was paid to do.

And so, my job description is not just editing but slash slash.

Lately, it's been difficult. Hopefully, it does not get worse, though.

work blooper

My boss asked me to follow up on certain malls regarding our proposal to be able to sell the magazine at their place. I started calling their offices Tuesday and never got a hold on any of them. I tried calling Music Museum this afternoon and have I made a major blooper!

Imagine a small room with tables at every corner. At the rightmost corner of the room is where all the printers and telephones are. The table right next to this is my boss', who was at that moment writing emails to practically everyone there is in his address book.

I went to the phone and dialed the number. Somebody answered.

"Hello? Is Ms. Soriano there?"

"Who is this?"

"This is Martha, from BusinessWorld-"

My boss stared at me.