Boyce Avenue - Firework

Boyce Avenue - Firework

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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
‘Cause there’s a spark in you

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on, show ‘em what you’re worth
Make ‘em go “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ‘em go “Oh, oh, oh”
You’re gonna leave ‘em all in awe, awe, awe

oh… You’re gonna leave ‘em all in awe, awe, awe

You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it’s time, you’ll know

Don’t let them to take your life for granted
you’re the only one who needs to rule your world
When life leaves you feel empty-handed
Lie low and show ‘em what you’re worth

New Year's Eve

for 2011

I was listening to an online Christian radio station, K-Love. Their question for the day was:

What is your one word for 2011?

It may signify a vision, a goal or a resolution.

My word for 2011? Revival.

With all that I have been through last year, I am hoping and claiming one of the best years ever; a year filled with God’s presence and power in my life; a year that God exists in my life beyond reasonable doubt; a year filled with so much more than this life I have at the moment.

My verse to claim for this year? Psalm 118:15-24

¹⁵ The voice of rejoicing and salvation
         Is in the tents of the righteous;
         The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
 ¹⁶ The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
         The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
 ¹⁷ I shall not die, but live,
         And declare the works of the LORD.
 ¹⁸ The LORD has chastened me severely,
         But He has not given me over to death.
      
 ¹⁹ Open to me the gates of righteousness;
         I will go through them,
         And I will praise the LORD.
 ²⁰ This is the gate of the LORD,
         Through which the righteous shall enter.
      
 ²¹ I will praise You,
         For You have answered me,
         And have become my salvation.
      
 ²² The stone which the builders rejected
         Has become the chief cornerstone.
 ²³ This was the LORD’s doing;
         It is marvelous in our eyes.
 ²⁴ This is the day the LORD has made;
         We will rejoice and be glad in it.

This is God’s promise to me for the year. This is going to be my blessing. I am just so excited to experience how God will make things better for me.

wish list

I must admit, I am not exactly the kind of person who would be asking someone for something. In fact, I take too much time in making wish lists (e.g. for the office on Christmas) simply because I could not really figure out what I want. I guess God has taught me to live life the way it is without so much complaining.

But somehow, this holiday is different. Many times in my prayers God kept on telling me to ask Him of the things I want, exactly how I would want them. Obviously, not everything turned out the way I really wanted them but I don't blame God for these.

Anyway, for 2011, I came up with three things I would like to ask God. These things, I know, only He can give.

• Freedom

To the people who have been with me this past year, they would testify that I am actually a lot better than we all would have expected, thanks to God. But there are still moments when the pain just finds it way out of the cage, pricks my heart with a thousand pins and blocks my chest to get enough air to breathe.

For this Christmas, I want God to totally heal the wound that causes me this pain.  I want to be free.

• Forgiveness

There are still times when I find myself arguing within, that I did what I know to follow God and never did He tell me that I was wrong. Even how hard I try, I still feel it deep inside that I am still human and that I can be angry with him.There are still times when I just want to blame him, scream at him because of his selfishness, I was stripped off of God`s promises to me.

But I don`t want to be angry. I just want to live. For this Christmas, I want God to cause me to forgive him despite all these, not for him but for Him.

• Happiness

Every time I feel my heart throbbing of pain, it makes me feel bad about myself, as if I am lost without knowing why. Questions like "If the man God told me I was going to be with decided that I was not worthy of his love, who else will think I deserve to be loved" still haunts me.

For this Christmas, I want no more chains of depression and self-pity to bind me because it still hurts. I just want to be happy.


In summary, I just want to see myself smiling again, confident and caring free. I imagine myself that one day I will be able to look at the sky with the sun`s rays shining on my face as I dance gleefully because I am alive and God has allowed me to live this life.

Christmas party for the kids 2010

On your wedding day

My prayers are with you on your wedding day.

Actually, they have always been with you. When you went out to war, I cried daily for your safety. I almost hurt myself beating the floor in prayer when you first declared that God was worthy of your praise. When your spirit died, I prayed for your revival, without really thinking of the possibility that you may never be with me.

But this is love and obedience. When I decided to trust God’s promise that we were going to be together, I was actually hoping that God would be faithful as much as I would be. I really thought that through my prayers, I would be able to pull you out of that dungeon and aid you in breaking away from those chains of doubt. I guess, in your eyes, I was not good enough to help you out.

So this is how it feels like, wanting to spend every waking moment asleep as every minute awake reminds me of the reality that you did not choose me. And no prayer, no blood, or sacrifice could ever change that.

But I don’t regret ever saying a prayer for you. In fact, I pray for happiness more than you deserve. I pray that God will open your eyes so that you will be able to see that God has always been with you and His angels have kept you safe every time you are deployed.

I pray that you realize your worth in life. You do not need to do so many things to prove your value. Your parents have always been proud of you. You do not need to be as intelligent as your eldest brother, as creative as your sister, and as charming as your other brother. You are valued for the man that you are.

The impulsive decision-maker that you are, I pray that you do not regret this decision with her. Whenever you feel like complaining, whenever you feel like she does not understand, whenever you would doubt if ever you really made the right decision, keep in mind that there are two people in this world who sacrificed their future for you to be together.

I pray for unending happiness with her, with God’s eyes and favor upon you both.

One day I will be able to face you again, hopefully with a complete understanding of what has happened. On that day, hopefully, I have been flying free. I would be able to smile at you like when we were little and adore your children the same way I had loved the kids around me.

For now, allow me to rest my heart. It has been wounded too much for too long I do not even think it throbs. But I will be all right. God has always made me feel better. You know, I am a lot stronger than I seem.

Until then, my prayers are with you, as it had been when I started praying for you nine years ago.

Bohol plunge

My friends and I visited Bohol for a vacation. They came a day earlier which was all right since I already had a tour in Bohol as a side track from work. For my first day (and their second day), we visited an adventure camp in Danao, four hours away from the provincial capital Tagbilaran City.

So far, one of the craziest thing I ever did. An easier version of bungee jump, the plunge is a swing adventure feature in E.A.T. Danao mounted over a 200 meter high and 300 meter wide gorge.

Oh, and did I mention? I am acrophobic.But yeah, it was fun.